I Do What I Do Because I'm a Mom
I'm a Mom
"To my children . . ." one mother said, "if I had to choose between loving you and breathing, I would use my last breath to tell you that I love you."
With Mother's Day so soon around the corner, I have reflected on my own motherhood and those things that I do simply because I am a mother. Ten kids. That's a lot of people to house, feed, and clothe over the course of each of their lives. Many late, late nights and many, many early mornings -- sometimes all night and all day. Diapers and toddler needs eventually give way to more advanced needs of loose teeth, science fair projects, clean track uniforms, multiple pairs of athletic shoes, playground bumps and bruises, first dates, and broken hearts. And . . . it doesn't end at eighteen. Mothering goes on and on. We love our kids! We love them immensely! No matter how old they are, we're still their mothers! Sometimes we wish they were older and sometimes we wish they were still under foot. Each stage of life has it's challenges. I remember my dad saying to me as I struggled with four little ones under five. He said, "These are the good times." Now that my "littles" are all "bigs," I can say that he was right. Those were the good times. But . . . it's nice to have them grown, too! These are good times, too!
Moms Just Do It
A Real Mom
Journalist, Rachel Martin summed up a few of my thoughts about those that are the dig-in-and-do types of moms. You wonder if -- along the path of all the overwhelming worries-- anything you do will make that big of a difference. Moms stand up to bullies, challenge the unfair, and right the wrongs. They aim to make everything right on their watch. Moms have your back no matter what. Just as she said, moms are life-changers every single day. They do what they do because they're moms. They just do it!
When I learned of our daughter's abusive marriage, the mom-bearcat kicked in. He did what? I wasn't exactly prepared for what I would think, what I would feel, and what I would want to physically do when I heard about it. Our daughter was a married adult woman with three children. How would I bridle my mom-emotions and protective defensiveness? What could I reasonably do about any of it? When our daughter came home to us, she was physically safe from him, but he continued his barrage of unkindness long-distance. His verbal abuse was unrestrained. When he came out to take her home, he made a few missteps and I confronted him. He knew that we knew. He and his abuse were on notice. Long and very painful story short, our daughter took her life as a result of his threats and his hateful threats, disparaging comments, and his false and deceitful accusations.
Bearcat? You better believe it. But there was nothing I could do. I found a calming safety in volunteering at our local women's shelter and serving on our county non-violence coalition. I found a voice. It's what moms do. They find a voice.
MADD -- Moms with a Voice
I explain my mom-rationale by collecting myself with other moms that have found a voice in a cause. Organizations that fight against wrongs and enact new legislation in many cases are out of the desire for moms to make things right. Taking a look at one such organization started by moms, MADD (the well-known acronym for Mothers Against Drunk Driving), Moms collected themselves together to create a new voice for change. https://www.madd.org/about-us/our-story/
No More Victims -- MADD
The Moms that started MADD are really no different than other moms. One mom, collecting herself with other moms, started a movement that would significantly change the course of how drunk drivers are held accountable. They have rallied and enacted laws that are tougher and laws that are more definitive regarding blood alcohol levels in individuals that choose to get behind the wheel. Their goal is centered around the number, zero. Zero deaths. Zero injuries. Zero families impacted by impaired driving.
A Mom and a House Bill
Moms do all that they can so that other moms don't have to suffer loss and heartache such as their own. My friend, Laura Warburton is such a mom. After losing her young and beautiful daughter, Hannah tragically one horrible day, Laura started a non-profit that brings awareness and prevention to the growing numbers of suicides among our young populations. Laura's experience has turned her heart to others in her voice through, "Live Hannah's Hope." On Friday, January 26, 2018, Utah State Legislators passed House Bill 41, also known as "Hannah's Bill," at the State Capitol. The name, "Hannah's Bill" is in reference to Laura's daughter who died by suicide in 2014 after not being able to get through to her psychologist on the phone. The bill, which passed the House with a unanimous vote, requires Utah crisis lines to be available year-round and at all hours of the day or have the capability to roll over to other lines. A mom with a voice, making a difference and changing lives through making hers heard and helping others.
Hannah's Bill, HB41
My Voice
I've found my voice in writing and in volunteering. I have served on our domestic violence sheltering services Board of Directors for nine years. During this time, I have helped to both create and engage local businesses in successful fundraisers, awareness and prevention campaigns and by initiating our Legacy Gala by locating all 13 of the founding Board members. During my third year on the Board, I was asked to assist in asking Utah State Legislators to fund a new law enforcement program that would allow officers to administer a questionnaire to those victims of crimes that they suspected were in a potentially fatal or lethal situation. The LAP or Lethality Assessment Protocol would need Senate approval that would allow $1.2 million for the training of all officers statewide and increase the security through updated systems at all of the 13 statewide shelters. I enlisted the help of our son, Court who had written a difficult poem about his sister. With Court, a state Senator, two police officers, and the chair of the State DV Coalition, this money was allocated and lives have been saved. Adding a voice to an important cause made a big difference. https://www.deseret.com/2015/2/9/20558349/domestic-violence-treatment-and-prevention-groups-rally-for-increased-funding#court-einfeldt-who-lost-his-sister-to-domestic-violence-hugs-ned-searle-of-mens-antiviolence-network-following-a-press-conference-held-by-the-utah-domestic-violence-coalition-at-the-capitol-in-salt-lake-city-monday-feb-9-2015
Court speaking at the State Capitol
Moms speak up, they speak out, and if necessary, they collect themselves with others to make a stronger voice for more people. Moms are emotional, they're tired, worried, impatient (yet patient), overwhelmed, and amazingly wonderful in their efforts to change lives every single day. We love our kids and would do anything for them. We want all in the world to be okay for others, too. That's what moms do. They just do.
We do all that we do -- because we are moms.
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